What is a Lover?

Rumi says, “A lover is one who burns with a fiery passion.”

Do you really love? First let me say that love is what you are, just as an apple tree produces apples. What you do happens because of it. In life, what you do not love, you will not sweat for, cry for, bleed for, die for! A lover is one who goes deep into the understanding and awareness. In that going deeper, they rise higher.

The saying goes, “In order for the branches of a tree to reach to the Heavens, the very roots must go to Hell.” A skyscraper must have a deep strong foundation. A tree is only as strong as its root.
You cannot expect shallow people to have a deep relationship!

You cannot have anything deep if you dig a hole here, then there, then there and then there. Forget about it. The most you will have is shallow understanding of others, yourself and even more shallow relationships. If you don't go deep you've sold yourself cheap!

If there is no love involved, you cannot make love, you can only make a mess! ~BSM II

Let me be clear, very clear, painfully clear.

A lover is not a sex partner. A sex partner is not a lover.

A sex partner is, um, well, oh yeah, a sex partner.

A lover is someone with whom you share,

deep thoughts, feelings, intimate moments, dreams,

fears and hold on there's something else.

Wait a minute I'll get it soon,

(Stupid me you'ld think I'ld know huh?)

oh yes, got it, "LOVE"!

Wow, imagine that?

(Duh!)

Am I saying that in an intimate relationship monogamy is best?
In my opinion and from my obseravtion of relationships, "Absolutely, Yes I am!" There is a saying that if you look into a mirror long enough it begins to look into you. In an intimate relationship you truly become each other’s mirror. You reflect things back at one and other that you may not have, and most often would not like to have seen. This is where the greatest opportunity for growth comes in. You are literally each other’s doorway to divinity.

To an extent, everyone you meet is your mirror. The truest of mirrors, however, is the one you have an intimate relationship with. This is because there is an emotional tie there. In a poly-amorous relationship you can run. You can hide. You feel safe, but, you not only have “not” made a commitment to another, you have not made a commitment to yourself and your own growth. A real relationship is one in which two become one, in and with the “One”! That is the intent! If there is no way to make it work, so be it.

You may have to take time outs from time to time to regroup, but the intention is still the same. Relationships first take work within the self, the individual, only then can they be useful for the couple. Just like a player or musician, you must practice your individual skills before you can be of use to the team or group.

You must constantly develop understanding, compassion and empathy, awareness. This is also true for you. Everything you see, think feel and do is filtered through you. If you are a dirty mirror what can you reflect properly?

The purpose of entering into a relationship with anyone is to allow them to be better than they were before you came in contact with them. You may be in an intimate relationship with them with the intent of staying forever, but if you are not growing together, you cannot continue going together. Otherwise, as I always say, it will be like two people who can’t swim jumping in the water who eventually us each other as life preservers.

I am talking about constant movement toward a higher way of being. As Khalil Gibran says, “Let their be separateness in your togetherness. You must be like two pillars holding up the roof of a temple.” In life and love, you must aspire to higher. The Sufi’s say forget about talking about Heaven, build the ladder to it.

A lover is one who goes into a relationship to give.
If a relationship ends they are more so sad because they have lost the opportunity to give and to have what they are giving be received. They receive, “not take” with gratitude and appreciation.
They see the whole process as life, love, feeding and nourishing itself.

“I love you, I love myself. I love myself, I love you!” ~ RUMI

You must become what you want to attract! ~ BSM II

When you want love, truth and light like a drowning person wants air,

then, my friend, you're ready to be a lover!

One mo' time!

Love is not what you do, it is what you are.

If love is a verb, is not the ultimate verb,

to be?

Read on friends, read on!